my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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