just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
