yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Well I just put wine in my tea
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
