i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
