Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
