fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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