cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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