I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
