jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
