I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
