I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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