i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
