ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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