I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
