Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We left the knife in your bed.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
