I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
