nut hugger
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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