I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
