what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Enjoy the penises
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
