theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
meet me or not, i'm out of control
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
