I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
