there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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