he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
