Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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