Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
