Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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