Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
