i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize