She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
