the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
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im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
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So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
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