I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
