I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
