Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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