he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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