i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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