all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
