on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
