C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Randomize
