No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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