I didn't shave. On purpose
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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