Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
