how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
