Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize