Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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