it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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