the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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