my vag is so smooth its legendary
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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