I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize