Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
