You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize