I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
