All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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