hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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