why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
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3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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