I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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