Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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