Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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