I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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