what day is it and did you see me today?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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