quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
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