I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
