I want to make a zoo with you.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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