eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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