I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
